I figured I'd post this since this is the second time this week I've heard this "theory" although it was only directed at me once. This would be the idea other people have that once you decided to adopt, you're bound to get pregnant. I've been told this a few times before but after hearing it 2 times in one week I figure I'd post about it. First time was said to me by my GYN. She knows I've stopped seeing the specialist and was just there for a regular exam. I told her we decided to adopt and she asked some questions and all was good. Then of course she just had to end it with "Now that you're adopting, who knows, you'll probably get pregnant." I just laughed. Is it possible, yea sure. Is it likely, probably not without medication, which I reminded her of. LOL
Then today I heard Oprah say it to a woman on her show who was stuggling with infertility and had done IVF only to miscarry later. Well, she didn't really say it as her belief, but she said that she had heard that many times people that want to have children so bad and can't have children go and adopt children and then the end up pregnant. The woman said that she hates that statement the most because it's physically impossible without medical intervention to get and stay pregnant and she'd wish people didn't tell her to "take a vacation" or "it'll just happen". She seemed in pretty bad shape. I'm so glad I'm not in that place anymore..and wasn't there for too long in the grand scheme of things. What's interesting is that I don't necessarily want to get pregnant now that we're in the process of adopting. I mean if it happens great, but now that we are doing the adoption, that is my focus. I think I've posted before how if we are able to have a second child I'd like to go back to China. I'd like my daughter to have a sibling that is also adopted, and ideally would like her to have a Chinese sibling, so they'd share that heritage. If I got pregnant, then we'd most likely just have 1 bio child and 1 adopted child, which is fine too, if it were to spontaneously happen, but we're not trying for that. Plus money-wise it's enough that we are going to prepare for Raven's arrival 2-3 years from now. We have time to save, time to get some things done around here, etc. Always the planner! LOL Anyway, that's how I feel about it right now.
Fortunatley, I'm not even overly sensitive (yet) by those type of remarks (and there are many others, but that's another post). In the adoption community I get the sense that alot of people are very offended by these types of comments. I guess it all depends on the person, and the comment. I've definetely read about some interesting things that have been said to waiting families, some said innocently and some said out of ignorance. It's very interesting this world I've gotten into... LOL I've also heard that once you get your child you feel diferently about the comments, so we'll see what happens. I'll have to post more about the types of comments adoptive families get at another time.
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