I know this will sound weird, but I feel like I've been on the verge of 40 for several years now, maybe about 5 years. I think it started with the biological clock ticking.. I was about 35 and heck, 40 was right around the corner!! Then the clock got louder and louder and during the "infertility years" of 36, 37, 38, I might as well had been 40. With every thought, it was always right around the corner. My mom had me right before she turned 40 and I had always had my mind set that I would be finished having kids way before 40. Initially I thought, I was about 35, I could pop out a couple before I hit 39. Well that plan didn't work out too well either. So basically I spent 5 years pretty much turning 40 and dreading every minute of it. I think I got it down pat now for Friday!! Except that I am coming to terms with it. For one thing.. I threw the biological clock out the window since we started the adoption process, which brought so much peace of mind. And I don't feel like I'm 40 (however that is supposed to feel). And I am slowing coming to terms with the fact that I'll probably be 42/43 by the time we go to get Raven. And hubby told me the other day "40 is the new 30" so I'm going with that! I gotta say.. I really does still feel weird that I will be 40, but I have big plans for my 40's!!!
In reflection of my 30's, I think I've accomplished some significant things. I was living by myself when I was 30 (since I was 18 actually) and I had just finished changing careers by going to technical school for a year while on unemployment (was in Accounting). When I finished school at the end of '97, I was working 3 jobs while looking for my first technical job. I got my first technical job in '98 which is still the same job I have today except it was outsourced so now I work for another company. I met my hubby at this job in 2000. We've gone to Vegas and I got to see the Grand Canyon, something I always wanted to do. We bought our house in 2004, got married in Niagara Falls in 2005, got another cat and a dog and remodeled our kitchen and some other small projects. And we started the adoption process in 2006, LID in 2007. So looking back, I think I accomplished alot.
My 40's are going to be even better than my 30's. First of all and probably most importantly, I will be a Mom!! Some of my other things I want to do in my 40's is travel more (CHINA FOR A START!), but not necessarily huge trips anywhere. I just want to see more of the US. Eventually we want to move out of NY, so I'd like to travel around and get a feel for other states. I also want to focus more on enjoying life instead of just trying to keep up and get by. I'd love to take a cruise one day, I want to go to Disney. I'd love to see California. I'd love to start hiking again. I'd love to go hiking with my daughter!! It would be great if I could start some type of business, but it would have to be something I really enjoy, because life is too short to be stressed all the time! I want to be more active. So many things to do! I think I will be more at peace.
So with that, I think I'm pretty prepared for 40! Bring it on!
No comments:
Post a Comment