Random Thoughts...

Three posts from me in one day! LOL There's just so much going on.. so much on my mind and want to document some of it before I forget.

First, I don't think I mentioned that the age range we requested for our Ethiopia adoption is 0-18 months for a girl, to be known from here on out as "Baby Girl", since I haven't picked a name yet. And yes.. I said "I" haven't picked a name yet.. LOL Hubby got to pick Raven, which we are going to save for our Chinese daughter and I get to pick a name for our Ethiopian daughter. That's fair right? lol Why are we requesting another baby girl? Well because we can, LOL, but really because I always wanted a daughter, and should at some point down the road we don't/can't finish our China adoption (always a possibility) I really want to have a daughter. As far as age range, if this adoption is completed within the next year and a half, I'd like to experience at least a little bit of the infant months before I get much older. Those are probably pretty common reasons I think, and probably contributes to why so many people request infant girls. I'm guilty.

But I am also fully aware that that is part of the problem with international adoptions sometimes... large numbers of prospective adoptive parents requesting baby girls can lead to some agencies going to unethical lengths to provide the supply (to be blunt). I trust that my agency is finding families for children who are already orphaned/relinquished and not finding children for families (by unethical means). If I have to wait longer, so be it. Even with the horrendous wait with China, I still wouldn't sign up with an agency promising super fast placements.

ANYWAY... back to timeframe... my agency's estimate for how long from the time the dossier is submitted to being matched is 5-8 months (estimate), of course, on the longer side for a baby girl. Total time from application to travel is 12-18 months. So I've been thinking, if we get our dossier in by April, we could possibly be matched this year, maybe early next year. That's kind of an overwhelming thought.. IN A GOOD WAY! But then I start taking it even further.. it's possible that right now, Baby Girl has been conceived. And there is so much sadness that goes with that thought, knowing that so much loss has to happen for Baby Girl, Baby Girl's mother, father. family, before we can be matched with her. So many conflicting emotions go with the thought that she might be conceived already. Does Baby Girl's mother know she is pregnant? What is she thinking? Feeling? Does she already know she will be unable to care for her? I can't even imagine. SIGH